physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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