Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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