i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
