FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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