good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
