im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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