Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
