and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize