We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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