Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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