remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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