Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
