she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize