we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
