i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
