your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
