I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
