so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
