what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
