y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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