My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize