You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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