Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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