And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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