Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Your cock deserves a montage
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
