Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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