I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
