He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
