if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
