Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
