We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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