at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All the doctor said was why
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize