You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
