I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
