Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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