Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
