Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
