And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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