I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
