For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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