maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
