worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
