He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
