Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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