I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
