just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
