Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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