I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
