thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
