I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
