Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
