Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
