she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
