I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
