I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
