he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
3pm strippers are depressing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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