Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
