I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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