so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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