Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
