Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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