your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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