he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
