He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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