She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
