Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
