i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize