I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
