As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
