so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
