I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
