PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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